Ive been really strict with myself here and nurse Jackie is doing wonders in helping me channel my inner goddess but the pull for familiarity is huge, and comforting. This one has made me feel drunk, and I don't like being drunk ( apart from the occasional margarita salsa kind of drunk) and so it may be the start of finally ending this habit.
Friday, 1 November 2019
Ive been waking up down here on the island to have a sneaky roll up. This reminds me of a time years ago when working for a surgeon as a nanny in North Carolina. He made a deal to pay for a years membership to the YMCA gym in exchange for me not smoking. I exercised daily but very gradually found myself frequenting the sweltering humidity in the garden at night with the cicadas, trying to dissolve the smoke rings that refused to dissipate in the air. We parted ways after some months, after I left the iron on ( I was in my 20's) me still puffing... but with a fabulously sculpted body.