five days to go

operation is getting closer now- in my mind i've included tuesday as i will be out of action, sitting on the loo all day with the medicine i have to take. I have moments of panic because the wait is too long and it gives me time to think about all the horrible possibilities of surgery. Such as pancreas panic- the consultants mentioned it in the meeting and if they have to remove it i will be type one diabetic and the outcome is not good- but i'm reminded by Ju that they promised not to take the whole thing so i guess it will be my second question (after- did you get it all?) when i wake up. Ju is worried that i wont be able to make the stairs when i come out and is probably designing a temporary shower cubicle made from mdf as we speak- he is also wondering when i will be able to ride a bike again?! I suppose he was only responding to my concerns that although I am getting rapidly thinner- it appears that the muscles in my legs are decreasing, leaving me with weird cellulite- must knock the current hot chocolate on the head and continue with green tea that sara gave me three weeks ago!