Saturday, 18 December 2010

welcome letter

probably the last post as i don't want to get boring (i think you already are luv! says Taigh reading this over my shoulder and not missing an opportunity for an insult-thanks for that my loving teenager!)

Anyway i'm still in recovery mode which is frustrating at times, especially when i have a really good day with minimal pain which makes me think - yay its getting better and i have a little dance around the kitchen. Then the pain comes back (maybe its the dancing?) and i'm stumbling around the house trying to straighten my body up and counting the hours for the next pain killer slot. I suppose its going to take some time but the energy needed to stay positive sometimes eludes me. Im comforted tho by chats with my friend Peter who went through heart transplant surgery with his twin brother recently and is now comparing scars with me and trying to remember rude jokes about drambuie (my other painkiller) to cheer me up! Everybody i talk to tells me how brave i've been but i honestly don't think i could have done it without the total love, support and positive messages from everyone i know. My 'district nurse' Liz has been an unfaltering rock and i am constantly amazed by her unconditional love and limitless humour which has helped me forget the pain and dragged me out of what could have turned into a black hole of depression.

- the copy of a letter to my GP I received as a result of the post operative clinic visit cheered me today. They write in such a charming way that it is easier to relay word for word-

I was very pleased to review Mrs Romanczuk in the clinic today. She is making an excellent recovery although she still needs to recover strength and wellbeing. Unfortunately Mr Strauss who performed the operation is on annual leave and I am sure that he would be delighted to know that the patient is recovering well. Perfectly reasonably Mrs Romanczuk asked me about the risk of recurrence. She does have a low grade liposarcoma and therefore there is always the low risk of recurrence but hopefully of the order of 10-15% Obviously we will watch her carefully in this clinic for a minimum of ten years. I hope that the patient is reassured.

I am!

Friday, 10 December 2010

outpatient news

have had my first appointment at Marsden as an outpatient. It was a hell of an effort to get there in the snow but we found some good taxis prepared to weave their way to Fulham (for a price) in the sliding icy roads. It made me get dressed and behave almost like a normal person though and i haven't looked back- goodbye pj's in the day! We were told that Dirk had gone off to Australia on holiday and so we were seen by the head of clinic Mr Thomas as well as visits from the specialist nurses and one by one the other doctors who were involved in the operation and post operative care- it really is a special place.

The news is good- they assured us they got all of the tumour out even though there were added complications such as it being attached to my diaphram as well as everywhere else which made the operation take considerably longer. Because an operation is the only means of getting rid of this type of cancer they explained the chances of it coming back where based on the success of removing every bit and they had done this successfully. Having said that i asked what would be done if it did come back and Mr Thomas stated "well, then we'll have another go at it!" .
He explained further that the investigation carried out on the tumour meant it was a low grade tumour but that had they not caught it at this time then it would have turned into a higher grade- ffffphew!!! He said they were very pleased with my recovery to date - as i sat there skinny and crouched, complaining about being very weak and not eating and feeling like i was going to keel over- his advice to do anything it took to speed up a sense of normality by doing a little more each day and even using alcohol if thats what i needed!!?? I questioned the need to take the antibiotics each day for the rest of my life and Mr Thomas explained that this was a controversial subject- he explained that some countries didn't feel the need to play it this way and preferred to treat an infection crisis as and if it happened- then he asked me " are you around children very often?"- nough said!!!

Monday, 6 December 2010

monday am

found some blog i'd written in a notebook at 5am while in hospital so thought i'd add it. no time to think- constant checks from different nurses to check the epidural still working (using frozen chemical spray, sprayed up and down my body, or in one instance an ice cube in a glove??!!), heart rate, bowel xrays, insulin, blood pressure, temperature- name date of birth (i suppose in case someone else snuck into my bed when they were not looking). My body, were i not so ill would be in remarkably good shape, scary though to see your arm and leg muscles diminish just when you need them to run away-slim but crouched over..shuffling. I've got holes all over me from needles and tubes, catheters and canulas that appear to be removed two each day at the moment- the doctors know i want rid of them and play into my game- if you eat a jelly and don't throw up we can take that one out- if you do a poo you might even be able go home-and no you cant take the stockings off! I was asked yesterday if one of the holes was a port!!?? had i missed something-and since learn that you can come and be plugged in to the Marsden for treatment- like a laptop upgrade.

I've got lifelong pills to fight infection, injections to un-coagulate my blood (which i have to self administer for two weeks at home-arg), pain killers, pills to stop painkillers making me sick, meds to stop painkillers giving me constipation and on and on. I am happy because they have taken out the tube which was going into my stomach via my nose and i haven't thrown up but i'm not really eating and haven't been to the loo and have been told the tube might have to go back in if things don't improve- i madly order lovely food each day from the menu and it stays on my table until its cleared away. The problem being that everything i put in my mouth tastes like cardboard- which i can chew and make into paper mache alright but then cant swallow. Felt a little panicked last night as a new patient was admitted next to me (not a patch on the previous asian lady whose tracheotomy voice box did indeed make her sound like Mr Bean calling out for co-codemol and ketchup) I eavesdrop avidly as new patient has been re-admitted after surgery for bowel cancer and there is now a blockage meaning she threw up her crumpet this morning and then regret listening as they manually re-insert the tube to her stomach as she convulses on the bed.

There are two other women in the ward with me now- one who is turning rapidly yellow and now orange and another opposite me who i spent time in intensive care with- her only interaction to suggest 'we need one of those Alison, don't we' as she mimicked smoking a cigarette when asked to cough after surgery (another ongoing challenge i find myself in) -not funny- i decided not to humour her and cant be bothered to make friends at this stage but just stare at her in case she does anything entertaining. Its worth the wait, she is morphed up to the hilt today, behaving like a headmistress let out for the day, laughing and joking with the staff, talking to herself and her machines and prancing around her bed getting tangled in the wires. 'i didn't mean to, i didn't mean to' she rambles before alerting staff that she had leant on a tube with her elbow - then finding something hilarious shouting 'oh no it was my finger har har!'- who am i to talk i'm probably writing this on my sheet. Haven't had any elephants or dolphins to report probably because ive had epidural drugs rather than morphine, in fact only one syringe of morphine which i was given to squirt in my mouth and which appeared to do nothing. The tramadol drugs i was initially taking gave me some weird experiences though and i felt like i spent whole days falling in and out of sleep only to look at the clock and see it had moved five minutes on each time.

Friday, 3 December 2010

4 in the morning

im alive......and beginning to feel more so as of today- although pain stops me from sleeping too well-hence the time i am blogging. The last two weeks have to have been the worse and most bizarre of my entire life. Feel like ive called upon every emotion learnt over the years whilst having a kind of out of body experience that has enabled me to endure all that has gone on. I know im not the only individual to feel like ive stared death in the face, planned for and written a goodbye letter to my son and looked at the house for the last time but it is a solitary and lonely experience that no amount of love and support could effect and for that reason it has been life changing and levelling in ways i don't think i'll fully get until some time has passed.

Although i was happy to be discharged from the Marsden so early it has been a difficult time managing the pain, moving about the house and hiding from all you lovely people who want to check im ok. I just needed some time alone to deal with the trauma, roll about the floor with constipation (caused by the pain killers), get some strength and gain back my sense of taste so i could eat again. It was especially weird looking down at my body which still appears to be someone elses that has been transplanted to me below my neck while i wasn't looking. I've lost two and a half stone to date but as a prof at the clinic stated the other day 'yes but it wasn't all you was it my dear!" My clothes are my previous size of course so i look like one of the weight watchers photographs of before and after where you could fit another person in your jeans whilst wearing them-well almost!

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Home Safe

Alison came home this evening and is back in Elsie Road where she belongs. She is a little fragile but delighted to be back home with Jules and Taigh and all her own things around her. Not sure she was going to be discharged so early she had sent me the following update via her IPhone earlier today to post on her blog:

"Day seven on space station mars...den and feel like I've been run over by a steam roller-not sure where t last six days have gone but enjoyed four days in intensive care unit-told me I had four litres of blood during op and another one overnight. Icu; weird place with glass shop front windows and computers and tv's hanging from the ceiling. Almost expected tom cruise to arrive attached to another cable at the bottom of my it was a personal nurse stared at me for four days inbetwren tinkering with my body via computer link up. Realise now that the staff were trying to keep me there as long as possible as they knew (unlike me) what was coming. I'm on a ward with three other patients all with diff forms of cancer- there are def private rooms nearby but haven't managed to meet any celebraties in the enema queue yet.There seem to be lots of nurses, auxillaries, physios, pain control, etc but they all appear to be running- night time is worse with constant beeping fromachines which you realise are just informing staff about drips and medication stuff and not a sign that someone is about to kick the bucket . Realise that icu full of bright young 20 somethings called eugene- ready to pack their hellicopter bac packs (was I imagining that?) and that this ward is more about middle aged ladies and the trolley shop where noonebuys anything. Been diff doing the blog astpu can umagine do thanks to liz for updating although haven't read yet! I'm soo wooozymost of the time am liable to fall asleep mid sentence...... Sent from my iPhone"

I'll hand the blog back to Alison now and I'm sure she will update you all once she's ready. In the meantime just glad she's home safe and well.x
(posted by Liz 21:10HRS)

Mr Bean

Alison has had all her tubes and wires removed which helps her feel a little less like an exhibition piece. Her day is a constant stream of doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, radiographers, porters, pain management team members, dieticians, ward orderleys and tealadies and her head a little dizzy trying to keep track of it all. Her ward companion 'Mr Bean', who kept her in fits of giggles over the last few days, has transferred to another hospital but no doubt Alison will have discovered a new source of entertainment and distracion before long. (posted by Liz 11:30hrs)

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

By Royal Approval.

Alison sitting up in bed today showered, hair washed and looking so much better. She even managed a walk (well shuffle to be honest) down the corridor to the balcony at the end of the ward for a breath of Chelsea fresh air-contemplated a ciggy for a swift moment but immediately felt sick at the idea. Alison is delighted that the Queen has decided to honour her bravery and talent by declaring her birthday a National Holiday. This just so happens to coincide with William and Kate's announcement today that their wedding will be on 29th April-Alison's birthday!(posted by Liz 20.20hrs)

Monday, 22 November 2010

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Alison was moved out of intensive care onto a ward yesterday. She still has various tubes and wires coming and going and is having a concoction of pain relief to ease her discomfort. A steaming cup of clear chicken soup and spoon of jelly did little to whet her appetite however she was happy to just inhale the smell of fresh orange peel. She was thrilled to see Taigh who looked super cool in his new 'hoodie buddy'. Always seeing the humour in every situation Alison is keeping busy nicknaming all the nursing and medical staff with different characters from the Carry On films! (posted by Liz).

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Operation Update.

Liz again at 12:30 Saturday.
Alison is still in intensive care but on the road to recovery. She is sitting up in bed and chatting away with the Wadley/Romanczuk resiliance and humour we have all come to know and love. She will fill you all in with details of the operation when she is well enough but for the moment it was hailed as a sucess with the removal of a 6-8kg tumour nicknamed Edgar. She was relieved to have the nasal tube removed yesterday and is desperate for some boiled sweets to suck- (much deliberation over whether they should be Wetheralls Origionals or Foxes Glacier)!! Staff in intensive care are looking after her with the utmost dedication and attention to detail and managing to make her as comfortable and pain-free as possible in the circumstances. She sends her love to all and appreciates all the well wishes, prayers, novenas and 'girl you just gotta get better' messages coming her way. It will be awhile before she is able to have visitors but I will try and keep the blog updated with her progress as the days go on.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Liz here. Just a quick update to say that after an anxious nailbiting day have had the most welcome telephone call from Marian to say that having come through the operation Alison is awake and smiling from ear to ear in her bed-she reckons it must be the drugs. I'm sure once she's well enough we will all be entertained with stories of pink elephants and purple dolphins not to mention kamakazee pigeons and delirious dentists! No other news on the op as yet but hey if Alison is smiling then the whole world smiles with her.x

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

tues eve

no time to write blog as on the loo!!! handing over to possible PA's Julian and Liz who will update the blog when they can- wish me luck! xxxx

Saturday, 13 November 2010

sat 13th

fun packed day on friday when one visitor turned into four with a last minute but important dental appointment in the middle which meant i had to leave them all at home entertaining each other and making their own coffee. The dentist, who i recently scowled at after he quoted me some £6000 to fix my teeth was a real sweetie today- the C word does it again i suppose. He gave me a huge inspirational talk about being strong and positive to aid my recovery, telling me all about his success after major stomach operations and that he was back to work after three weeks, making sure he didn't bend over (he's a dentist!!?) He sent me on my way with beautifully cleaned teeth at no charge too which is definitely a first.

Today I find myself strangely at home alone with a very cute dog who has settled down in my space on the sofa- like someone has sent me an excitable and adoring teddy bear who stares at me and wants to be hugged, maybe it was a plan set up by nephew and girlfriend pretending to need a dog sitter for the day. They brought a home made card from roma and limerick from brother in law;

'my sister in law is a mate
who found she was putting on weight
after a spell in the theatre
she felt a lot neater
and came out feeling sexy and great'- well heres hoping dave!

As i sit reading the guardian magazine i'm reminded by Ju that out lives are constantly reflected in this magazine (which clearly feeds into his middle class guardian reader status that he likes to bestow upon us). Today the first article is about Antony Hegarty (an idol of mine from Antony and the Johnsons), the second is about a guy who nearly died eating wild mushrooms (we recently went on a wild mushroom forage in the woods)and the third large article is about a woman who went in for stomach surgery which went wrong and spent the whole time hallucinating on morphine in a pretty bad way. (is there cctv in our house that we don't know about?) As i'm writing this I have a call from my sister who last year had surgery and so i rather jokingly enquire about the effects of morphine, expecting her to tell me of a slightly woozy feeling and she tells me in her matter of fact way, that there was an elephant in the next ward (actually turned out to be a squeeky door) and dolphins swimming about on the hospital floor- oh jesus!

Friday, 12 November 2010

five days to go

operation is getting closer now- in my mind i've included tuesday as i will be out of action, sitting on the loo all day with the medicine i have to take. I have moments of panic because the wait is too long and it gives me time to think about all the horrible possibilities of surgery. Such as pancreas panic- the consultants mentioned it in the meeting and if they have to remove it i will be type one diabetic and the outcome is not good- but i'm reminded by Ju that they promised not to take the whole thing so i guess it will be my second question (after- did you get it all?) when i wake up. Ju is worried that i wont be able to make the stairs when i come out and is probably designing a temporary shower cubicle made from mdf as we speak- he is also wondering when i will be able to ride a bike again?! I suppose he was only responding to my concerns that although I am getting rapidly thinner- it appears that the muscles in my legs are decreasing, leaving me with weird cellulite- must knock the current hot chocolate on the head and continue with green tea that sara gave me three weeks ago!

Monday, 8 November 2010


busy weekend- made it to the annual Jan and Tony fireworks party and was hugged and kissed to death, so to speak, so lovely to be part of such a strong community- had to leave after an hour as my body doesn't like standing upright or sitting in a chair for too long. Tig stayed for the whole party though and had a great time- apparently only one child melted their coat. Spent sunday in Dulwich village with the family trying to find a table big enough to feed us all (Robert my brother in law is refurbishing the french restaurant next to the greyhound and wanted to tell us all about the guy who is making the oven and who has to be slotted into it like a pizza so he can finish the brickwork).

Ju says he will have to make a rota for all my visitors as they will be queueing down the Fulham Rd- if my stomach doesn't burst my ego might! Kate asked me how long I will be staying at the 'hotel'(quite like this idea) and i think it will be about ten days. Was explaining this to marian and how they wont let me go until the blood bag stops filing up- reminds me of a story of our mother she said; do you remember when she had breast cancer and was in St Georges- well she took the bag with her and went shopping in Tooting market!- probably told the nurses she was going for a little walk; just one of the many stories that kept us laughing over the years.

Had some delusions myself when i was in Kings- getting miffed because there were no chairs for my 'guests'. On hearing this Liz said she would buy me a visitors book so that all my 'guests' could sign in. Misha said this was a good idea eg; came to see you but you were unconcious....came to see you but you were asleep....came to see you and you were still asleep but boy can you fart! I can well imagine some of the other comments- Gemma; came to see you but you were asleep so ive gone shopping down the Kings Rd, Liz; came to see you but you were asleep, even the scent of a peeled orange didn't rouse you- but hey had a great chat with the woman in the bobble hat in the next bed who turned out to be from County Claire!

Wednesday, 3 November 2010


these days we are copied into the letters that get passed around the hospitals and GPs about us- which is a good thing- given some of the correspondence i've had recently. The best one had to be from Kings which stated; you did not attend your antenatal checkup- it is advisable to have regular check ups to ensure the health of you and your baby- Edgar would be very disappointed in his host mother! Today i had a letter stating a bed has been booked for the 16th and that i can eat lots of lovely things up to six hours before when in fact its for the 17th and i must starve apart from clear fluids (although not gin i'm told) for 18 hours before i arrive.

The second letter from kings states i had a large intra abdominal mass thought to be a kidney??!!-that i smoke 20 fags a day and over the recommended alcohol limit- think i was just trying to be compliant when i answered their questions that day. It also states the two lumps which are actually one big lump in fact measure 24cm x 21cm- explains why two mushrooms (supposed to be anti cancer) battered in beer (not so good) today made me feel like i was going to keel over there and then. A really good walk over miles of hillside in Surrey made me feel wonderful and normal for a while today and i am blessed with good friends who aren't going to let me wallow for a second ( unless i really need to of course) I look forward to your visit Therese all the way from Galway- I don't think its the a*****le of nowhere at all!

Monday, 1 November 2010


operation now rescheduled for wednesday 17th November- a day later. had vaccinations today for flu and pneumonia in preparation for not having a spleen and am told i may have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life (that or become the girl who lives in a bubble i suppose?)

Saturday, 30 October 2010

after friday

ok so we spent six hours at the Marsden discussing the next steps- Kings hadn't sent through the scans even though i had them done three weeks ago-tsk. They made a decision there and then to do their own tests and to book me in for the operation on 16th November- going in at 7.30am.

Had to go through the washing machine CT scan again, (supposed to wait a month before having another so i'm probably radioactive....but my laptop seems quicker) more bloods,(strange woman who couldn't bend and caused chaos because one digit on the form was wrong making the whole test invalid until i suggested she change the digit and the other information would be ok??!!) medical history, (I should be a stone and a half lighter after the op) chats with anaesthetist, (there will be tubes coming out of your neck, hands, one going into your stomach and two to three days in intensive care- horror, epidurals and self administered morphine to help with my poetry writing) nurses (screaming male gay- god in heaven its huge my dear!) and of course the wonderful Dirk Strauss and his colleague Andy Hayes who promise to do everything to make it alright...swoon!

Fortunately the visit coincided with a meeting Mr Strauss (or should I call you Dirk?) was attending so i had many specialists viewing the scan and discussing my enormous alien and its complicated location amongst my various organs and arteries. Their attentiveness (three specialists in the consulting room) and informal enthusiasm is really comforting and although the sarcoma i have is in a rare category of less than one percent it is all that they do. They brought me and Jules into the meeting room to view the scan and there were lots looking over our shoulders, sitting on tables nearby discussing the findings-that it was a perfect example and that it may be used in lectures- i may be famous yet! One of my greatest fears was reduced when they told me they were used to removing tumours that where connected to the aorta- and the other one of course- that it had not spread to my lungs or anywhere else- fffffwwwww!

The operation is the only way to deal with the tumour so i wont be having chemo which is a huge relief. On the negative side i will be losing a kidney, my spleen and part of my bowel-ug but hey how thin will i be!! xx

Thursday, 28 October 2010


just realised i have to change the time i blog otherwise it makes up its own time- i dunno? spent the day with Taigh and Liz having photographs taken of me- god its the only time i'm getting my flabby belly out and thats only because it's not reflective of my gluttonous-ness (need to learn to spell -am inspector!) and will hopefully be removed soon. anyway my profile photo shows it all. went shopping with marian yesterday so if you come to visit me in hospital i'll be the one in the leopard print fluffy dressing gown and outrageously pink fluffy scarf thing that taigh is trying to steal as its 'awesome'- well it is in Chelsea girls! Off to hold my breath for the next fourteen hours until 9.30 in the morning when i hopefully meet Mr Strauss himself. xxxx

Monday, 25 October 2010


just been to visit Jean at St Thomas where she has endured a total reconstruction following breast cancer. I felt both honoured and sad when she asked me as a friend to photo document her whole experience. Although i think we may have brought the eleventh floor to a bit of a temporary standstill as she undressed and posed over the London skyline in the interest of art! We began planning the whole project in the Lounge in Brixton with me manouverring about trying to deal with a pain in my side and Jean tucking into a wholesome burger. Two weeks later it appeared that Jean was supporting me and taking photographs of me as part of the whole experience-how weird life is. Added to this, i was about to call the mutual friend who introduced us to tell her about Jean's predicament and had to call her and tell her two stories- she has just flown back to Dublin after a whistle stop frantic visit to us both in different locations- thanks Geraldine.
I feel comforted by an Irishness that i thought i had lost (since the generation that was my childhood experience have all gone) so maybe i've been collecting you all over the years just to keep up the culture. I've also just said goodbye to the Irish parish priest father O'Connor who came and brought mass to me as i haven't made it there too much recently- confession, communion and anointing- comforting if a little (actually a lot) scary.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

next step

appointment for the Marsden at 9.30 on Friday morning........

Friday, 22 October 2010

father ted

no Elaine, haven't named it father ted but Edgar! Edgar the blob who's currently fighting for space with the curry Jules encouraged me to eat. Just had a thought tho- i'm reminded of the father ted story where he is terrified of flying and comes out in cold sweats and total hysteria when on a plane- the moment the plane starts to actually fall out of the sky he becomes brave and decides he will get out onto the wing to fix it mid air- wow.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

first blog ever

well here goes, if nothing else i've been challenged in the art of giving up smoking and learning how to blog! Thanks kate for your idea to create a blog so I can now chat on mass. Two weeks ago I was worrying about work and the ironing and how to get Taigh the twelve year old into the shower- how insignificant these things seem when faced with the emotional volcano of a cancer diagnosis! Well its a little calmer now and the triangle that is my family unit going about stuff as normal until the next step on our journey to remove the fkn alien from my body. I am and feel truly loved up by all around me -like a huge bundle of cotton wool that has fallen from the sky enveloping me in positive energy- thanks you all x

I've been diagnosed with a rare cancer called sarcoma of the retroperitineal. Its located by my kidney, spine and aorta and possible connected to blood vessels. The point of diagnosis weirdly being a bit of a relief after two weeks of speculation, tests, scanning and biopsy stuff. I suppose they had been feeding me bits of information along the way so i knew it was a strong possibility. Not sure how long ive had it because i naturally thought id been pigging out or drinking too much vino and had developed the Wadley belly familiar to my family- (sorry sis's!). I tried giving up bread and refraining from wine but kept going back to a lump located to the left of my stomach and then thinking i was making it up.

Well I had Taigh off school with a cold and he'd been complaining of a pain in his foot for ages so i thought id sort it out once and for all and booked myself in alongside. Poor Taigh was very disappointed with the 'crap' doctor who said nothing was wrong and he should just take a couple of paracetemol. I on the other hand was examined and referred to Kings for an emergency ultrasound the next morning. Not wanting to alarm Jules who had to work i told him nothing and took a friend Liz to give me moral support- dear Liz who was watching the ultrasound screen as they located a mass measuring 15cm by 12cm has rapidly become my Irish district nurse- (we just need to find a basket for your mercedes honey) They then fed my veins ink and put me in the cat scan.

Had to wait a week after this with many phone calls back and forth from the doctor to kings and back to the doctor again- dealing with inexperienced receptionists such as those asking me "is it the fax that says suspected cancer?" ....blub blub!!! Got an appointment with mr brown the next tuesday who explained to me and Jules the likely hood of chemo before and after surgery and the other likely hood of being transferred to the Marsden....blub blub. A quick fag outside Kings with the dressing gown crowd in the cloud of smoke which appears under the no smoking signs and i was booked into the hospital. They kept me in for two nights opposite a 90 something with no teeth and the mind of a toddler- prone to calling for her mummy all night- and a woman who couldn't operate her tv card and had to tell everyone this on the hour. After an ultrascan biopsy with a big needle (helped by Led Zeppelin on my ipod) and on the morning of discharge a different consultant who came to see me shook his head when i tried to affirm that my bloods had come back clear and calmly told me that my consultant in all probability had already contacted the Marsden. The young pharmacist girl and Cathy (who appeared in her nurse uniform visiting the patient next to me and who i'd been in the pub garden with recently at a St Anthony reunion thing) got the brunt of my raw emotions as i realised the gravity of my predicament.

People come to visit in two's.....

so thats me right now- probably getting boring and should sign off (maybe im just pining to write another inspection report.....erm well maybe not. The Marsden website has some interesting reading on soft tissue sarcomas and luckily have a specialised unit for my type- check out the photographs on the outcomes report- some are the size of bean bags so i guess its not all bad! will try to update this but of course it depends on treatment- have told Ju to update if im too ill xxxxxxx